fickle finger of fate

Name is Abrar, like to read, write and travel. I mostly re-blog on this one.

Writing Blog : mohdabrar.tumblr.com

“I lost that part of myself that some people call a heart, others, a soul. It doesn’t matter what it’s called, and I don’t care anymore if was taken from me or given away. It’s gone no matter what.”

– adam stanley (via iamadamstanley)

“Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.
Depression is humiliating.
If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.
Depression is humiliating.
No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.”

– Pearl (via psych-facts)

Things I forgot to tell you:

That I love you, and that when I awake in the morning I use my intelligence to discover more ways of appreciating you.

That when June comes back she will love you more because I have loved you. There are new leaves on the tip and climax of your already overrich head.

That I love you.
That I love you.
That I love you.

I have become an idiot like Gertrude Stein. That’s what love does to intelligent women. They cannot write letters anymore.

– Anaïs Nin, A Literate Passion: Letters of Anais Nin & Henry Miller, 1932-1953 (via avvfvl)

“A Prayer for the Wild at Heart That Are Kept in Cages”

– The subtitle of Tennessee Williams’s play, Stairs to the Roof (1941)

“It’s bullshit to think of friendship and romance as being different. They’re not. They’re just variations of the same love. Variations of the same desire to be close.”

Rachel CohnNaomi and Ely’s No Kiss List (via feellng)

“I laugh a great deal because I like to laugh, yet everything I say is deadly serious.”

– Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan: The Lessons of Don Juan (via whyallcaps)

I remember
how seeing the shape of your mouth
that first time, I kept staring
until my blood turned to rain.

Some things take root
in the brain and just don’t
let go.

Tim Seibles (via avvfvl)

“I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don’t want to shrink back just because something isn’t easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can’t and I can.”

– Kristin Armstrong (via whismical)

jcatgrl:

mermaidofspace:

karmapoliceofficer:

everyone you’ve ever loved has said some problematic shit: a novel 

you have also said some problematic shit: the sequel

having said problematic shit does not necessarily make you or anyone else a bad person, just be aware of it, don’t say it again, and don’t make fucking excuses for people who continue to say problematic shit: the thrilling conclusion